My goal this week was to work on building efforts to handle setbacks. What can we do to help ourselves and others when faced with a setback or challenge? I never thought I would experience any more setbacks as I was beginning my journey of treatments to battle breast cancer.
I am a morning person! Getting up before the sun rises each morning is a typical day in our home. My appointment to see my dermatologist was at 7:30 a.m.! However, the doctors' office is 50 minutes away. Then I would head to meet with my medical team for education on the radiation I would receive and what to expect. I would then have CT scans to map out the point for radiation. I would arrive back home in time for lunch!
As you can tell, I like to have things all planned out to maximize daylight time! I never expected to have anything mess with my very detailed plan for the day until it happened! Just like that it was derailed.
I arrived right on time to my appointment, checked in, and the nurse called me back. I put on my little gown and waited for the doctor to come in for my six-month checkup. He begins by checking my arms, face, and back. “Everything looks great, but I want to take another look at your left arm.”
What? Another look at my left arm? I have not seen anything. Did I tell you I have breast cancer?
“I think I want to biopsy that spot on your left arm. It is small, but it looks like you have the start of something. With your history of having skin cancer before, we need to check it out.”
I can’t believe I need a biopsy today. More cancer? Don’t I have enough?
The nurse comes back to prep me. Injections given. Doctor comes back takes the sample. Information given to me when the results will be back and how to care for the area. All bandaged up and off to the next appointment.
Arriving at the next appointment, I was still a little upset from the previous appointment, but I wanted to understand everything completely. Everyone did a great job, but I was getting overwhelmed. When I heard we need to give you three permanent tattoos, what color did I want, black or pink? I know I looked at them with a crazy face. They are tiny marks to guide the laser to make sure I am aligned each time correctly for radiation treatments.
I have always told individuals not to get tattoos, and here I am getting them! Thank goodness I had nothing else planned for the day because I was at my max! Today is an Orange Hi-C and ice cream kind of day for me!
Our faith is the center of who we are as individuals. Courage comes from the heart. The setbacks we face rely on facing our fears with our hearts, minds, and souls. The time we are living through today are not of the conditions of normalcy. We face setbacks daily, it seems. Some are more than others, but the truth is all are equal in causing a level of pain.
I usually respond when asked, “How are you?” with “Just fine.” On the day of my doctor's visits, I did not wait for anyone to ask me. I called and told others I was not fine. For the first time in my life, I believe, I canceled out on several things scheduled. I was not fine.
Truth be told when you are not OK. Taking a break is alright to do. You can step away. Setbacks do not have to derail you every day! Take a moment and regain your balance!
-I have not received the results yet to know if it is cancer or not. I will let you know when I do.