Lead with Two Rules: Feeling Good & Feeling Safe by Brenda Yoho
Be part of the problem or part of the solution, the choice is always yours to make.

The Impact of our Words and Actions

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it's easy to overlook the profound impact our words and actions can have on ourselves and those around us. Often, we find ourselves caught up in the fast-paced rhythm of our routines, reacting instinctively without considering the consequences of our choices. This is where the power of mindfulness and practicing Two Rules steps in, urging us to pause and reflect before we speak or act.

The Need for Two Rules and Mindefullness in Daily Interactions

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It encourages us to take a step back from the automatic responses that often govern our behavior and instead approach each situation with intentionality. This is particularly crucial when it comes to our interactions with others.

Think about the last time you had a conversation or engaged in an activity. How often did you consider the potential impact of your words or actions on yourself and those involved? The truth is, our interactions can shape the emotional well-being of those around us and, in turn, influence the overall atmosphere of our communities.

I began using Two Rules as a way to develop and practice habits to form routines for the students I worked with as a teacher. It seemed that the majority of the children I worked with experienced difficulties with impulse control. Students were reactive and not able to pause to respond. Helping them to break down the steps in asking four questions became a great routine to use and formed a habit for them. They understood the need to work through the steps.

Pause and Reflect: A Transformative Approach

Before uttering a word or taking a particular action, it's valuable to adopt a moment of pause and reflection. Ask yourself: Will this contribute positively to the situation? Will it make me or others feel good and safe? This simple yet profound act of self-inquiry can be transformative, redirecting our energy towards fostering a positive and supportive environment.

Consider the ripple effect of a kind word or a thoughtful gesture. By consciously choosing to infuse positivity into our interactions, we not only enhance our own well-being but also contribute to the collective happiness of those around us. Conversely, unchecked negativity can create a toxic atmosphere, undermining the fabric of community and connection.

The four questions created by Two Rules is a solid foundation for transformation on how students learn problem solving, self-regulation, decision making, social-awareness and so much more.

Building a Positive and Supportive Community

The impact of our words and actions extends far beyond individual encounters. It plays a pivotal role in shaping the community we live in. When each member practices mindfulness in their interactions, the cumulative effect can be astonishing. A community built on mutual respect, empathy, and kindness becomes a resilient force, capable of overcoming challenges and nurturing the growth of its individuals.

The importance of mindfulness in our daily interactions cannot be overstated. By pausing to consider the impact of our words and actions, we unlock the potential to create a positive and supportive community. Let us strive to be mindful stewards of our relationships, contributing to a world where compassion and understanding reign supreme. After all, in the tapestry of life, our words and actions weave the threads that connect us all.

Understanding Choice, Responsibility and Accountability

Understanding choice, responsibility, and accountability is paramount in navigating life's complexities. Choices are the threads that weave the fabric of our existence, shaping our path and influencing outcomes. With choice comes the weight of responsibility—a recognition that our decisions impact not only ourselves but also those around us. Embracing responsibility involves acknowledging the consequences of our actions and actively working towards positive outcomes. Accountability is the bridge that connects choice and responsibility; it demands transparency and integrity in owning up to one's decisions. Together, these concepts form the cornerstone of personal growth and societal harmony, fostering a foundation for mindful decision-making and ethical behavior.

Choice

Choice is a fundamental aspect of human existence, shaping our daily lives and influencing our identities. "Two Rules" emphasizes the significance of our capacity to make choices. From the moment we wake up until we go to bed, our lives are filled with countless decisions, both big and small. These choices become ingrained in our routines and habits, ultimately defining who we are as individuals.

The first rule of choice is that it empowers us. It grants us the freedom to select our path, make decisions, and chart our own course in life. This power to choose is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom. It allows us to pursue our dreams, set goals, and follow our passions. Our choices shape our destinies, and the consequences, whether positive or negative, are ours to bear.

The second rule of choice is that it carries responsibility. With the privilege of choice comes the weight of accountability. We must own the outcomes of our decisions, for better or worse. It is in these moments of responsibility that we learn, grow, and adapt. Our choices, no matter how small, ripple through our lives and those of others, leaving an indelible mark.

Over time, our daily choices become ingrained in our routines and habits, molding our character. Whether it's the choice to prioritize health, pursue a career, or nurture relationships, these decisions accumulate and define who we are. They become the fabric of our identity, representing the values and principles that guide us.

In "Two Rules," the focus on choice serves as a reminder of the significance of every decision we make. It is through our choices that we navigate the labyrinth of life, shaping our destinies, forging our identities, and leaving a lasting legacy in the world. “Feeling Good” and “Feeling and Safe” is an essential piece of what each individual needs.


Together

What if we approached every day with the same anticipation we have when packing for a vacation?

When you pack for vacation what are some of the things you pack? Do you pack a camera or just use your phone to take pictures? Why do we take so many pictures?

Pictures capture the uniques and beautiful moments you want to remember as you vacation is special places with special people. What if we took this idea and applied it to our daily lives? Many people post on social media platforms a lot of pictures. They are capturing different moments, images and events to share with others. My challenge is to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, creating a collection of cherished memories that make each day special.

If you snap a picture, what is the why behind it? Take the time to not just capture the image, but the moment and cherished memory that makes it special.

One of the individuals who was in high school at the time I was and is a classmate of my best friend has a son who has taken it a step further in creating a moment in time which is special to share with all of us. Please watch it below with your young family, enjoy the music, make the pizza, and cherish quality time together. This is a great example of family treasuring those special moments.

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power of choice, graphic with red colored figure with question mark over head and different colored arrows pointing out in all directions

James Clear tells us in his book Atomic Habits, “every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

Craig Groeschel has authored the book The Power to Change and “reveals that it’s time to actually change by learning to master the habits that matter the most.”

Andy Andrews has authored many books I cherish! However, there is one short book I came across while vacationing a few years back. I was in a little shop on my trip to Gulf Shores and Orange Beach. The title of the book was How do you kill eleven million people? I am a fan of his writing and had to read this book. What an amazing thought provoking book it is.

Andy Andrews believes that good answers come from asking good questions. Reminds me of a new friend of mind Dr. Keith J McNally, “The Question Guy.”

Andrews poses the provocative question, “How do you kill eleven million people?”—the number of people killed by the Nazi German regime between 1933 and 1945. He also explores a number of other questions relevant to our lives today, even though the book was published several years ago. This short book will give you things to focus on in your thoughts as you reflect on the timeframes from 1933-to our current situations. Pose some questions yourself as you read through things and discover your thoughts.

I highly recommend all three of the books I mentioned, but especially Andy Andrews. The Thrift bookstore is one of my favorite places to purchase books if you do not want to purchase a new edition. I love holding a book, having a highlighter and a notepad to take down notes. Many ideas, questions, thoughts and ideas come to me as I read. Some of the questions that may be generated are:

How are we supposed to tell the difference between the “good guys” and the “bad guys”?

How do truth and lies in the past affect our destiny as a nation?

What happens to a society in which truth is absent?

What happens when people choose to not vote?

How do we know our habits are good or bad?

What can we do to prevent history from repeating itself?


I always can relate back to my Two Rules-

1.) Everyone will feel good.

2.) Everyone will feel safe.

When we establish these concepts at an early age, reinforcement throughout the journey in education, and develop a system of support (SOS), we are sowing many seeds. Just like a garden, we plant the seeds we want to grow and reap the harvest at a later time. Society is a reflection of the gardens we plant and we are reaping what we sowed.

We must take actions to prevent, protect and provide a more purposeful system to ensure all of the needs of our children are meet to provide the future generations with opportunities for continued growth and success. Foundational skills, emotional wellness, resilience, responsibility and all of the skills needed in the Two Rules Philosophy.


old-family-garden with green leaved trees in the background
This is a picture of my parents garden we had placed on their headstone to mark their graves. Many memories, friendships and meals were shared with this garden. Stories of hard work, giving to others and learning how to be thankful for all we receive from the seeds we plant. I can remember taking this picture. I can remember so many things when I look at the garden.
"I only have 2 rules!"
© 2024 Brenda Yoho
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